Today, I saw my new psychiatrist, Dr. Furman. He seemed pretty cool, and asked a lot of questions. I cried a lot, talking about all the things going on in my life, and actually didn't even talk about everything going on- I just got to the major things that are upsetting me the most. I also was able to tell him that, for the most part, I think I'm handling things very well, all things considered, but there's just *SO* much, far too much for an average person without all the health stuff on top of it all. He seemed to agree.
The major thing that has me concerned right now is that what I was calling Night Terrors, he thinks are actual hallucinations. This is not good, but he thinks it's more of an anxiety reaction than a schizophrenia reaction. So I guess that's the good news- he doesn't thing I'm schizophrenic, just that I have so much going on that my anxiety is heading towards that direction.
He definitely wants me to start talk therapy, specifically CBT again, and I agree. He has also added Abilify to my regimen of drugs, so I'll be taking that at night instead of the Klonopin, which "frees up" the Klonopin for any panic attacks I have during the day.
So, overall, I feel a lot better knowing that I have a psychiatrist on board now, and that he agrees that the majority of what's going on with me mentally is due to outside influences... that I truly *should be* depressed right now, because of all of the losses I've had lately. That I'm reacting "normally" to abnormal situations. And, most importantly, that my crying episodes daily are probably completely justified... I'm dealing with an awful lot of loss, going through the grieving process over and over and over again.
